Oh boy! It’s all come down to this!!
So I’ve decided to start taking requests for album reviews again. Aren’t you excited?? Oh man I bet you are excited.
I’m not going to lie to you – I am only opening up requests again for purely greedy reasons. I am out of ideas for reviews and want people to throw a bunch of new music at me so I can get motivated to write some posts that are not completely fucking boring. I am currently in a situation where I kind of don’t know what I want to write about anymore, so here it is, your chance to mold this dying blog into thine own image.
Whatever the heck you want, man. Gimme an album and I’ll review it here. That is the name of the game. What am I doing?? I’m doing nothing. I’ll review your fucking album. I’ve done this a couple of times before so most people who read this blog probably know the drill, but just in case here are some basic ground rules:
–Albums only. I am not doing song reviews or discography reviews or anything like that. I like albums and only want to review albums right now. EPs count because why the heck not.
–Don’t expect me to like / dislike whatever you request. It’s gonna just be my opinion and that’s it! I’m fulla opinions, you better lookout, oh MAAAAAN
–Don’t request your own music. It is impossible for me to say this and not sound like a dick, but it has to be said. I have gotten a pretty surprising amount of people asking me to review albums by their own band the last couple times I opened up requests, and I just can’t do it and will never do it. It’s nothing personal – I just don’t feel comfortable doing it, at all. Never have. I would either end up chickening out and not writing an honest review out of courtesy (which nobody wants), or give a too-honest review and feel like shit about it. So just to make it clear: even if you tell me you really want me to review your own music and that you want my honest opinion, I am not going to do it. I’m sorry and I love you.
–If you are requesting an album that is hard to find, please send it to me or provide me with a download link. This is pretty basic and has never been a problem before, so I probably don’t even need to mention it. You guys are cool.
–I might not get to your request at all. The last time I did this I reviewed every album that was requested of me, in the order they were requested. I am not going to do that this time. It’s gonna be all willy nilly. Sorry fellahs! Hearts were made to be broken!!
–Please request solo albums by former boy band members. Just fucking do it. I’ll do it. I want to do it. I want you to ask me to do it.
–Please do not be upset or surprised if I only review boy band solo album requests and ignore all other requests. About a 65% chance of this happening.
–Please do not be upset or surprised if I only review boy band solo albums of my own choosing and ignore all requests. About a 71% chance of this happening.
OK that’s probably it. If you want me to request an album, post it in the comments for this post. Or email it to me at firstname.lastname@example.org. If you wanna post it on Facebook or tweet it at me that is mostly ok, but harder for me to keep track of. The comments page here is way easier for me. So be a bro and THROW YOUR MUSIC AT ME. MY STATUS AS A MUSIC WRITING GUY DEPENDS ON IT.